Kaworu, Evangelion 3.0 and the end of the world.
.” クラゲ水泳。”~ < Kurage.Suiei> ~ Swimming Jellyfish.
So I haven’t last been here in around 6 months. Not only that but let’s take into consideration I also have barely spoken to most of the people I could talk to every day of my life. I haven’t been cosplaying or really doing any of the things that used to make me a little more comfortable with myself. I pushed away a lot of things that made me happy. This year has most likely been the worst year of my life. I spiraled through stupid decision after decision and am absolutely disgusted with myself. I hit rock bottom. Not everything was in my control but I’m still at fault for many of my actions. Now this isn’t a pity party, I can reassure you that. I became fearless in all the wrong ways, and cowarded away from the conflicts I was meant to conquer. I’ve kept only one friend i’ve known for such awhile and allowed her to see me completely lose myself as an individual. All my life I’ve been afraid of being loved. No, not just in a romantic sense but by people. By people I could call my friends. Confide in. I just wanted to set an example for others, be this carefree, ambitious kid that someone could look up to but not get to close to. That I could maybe one day too lookup to. I can now shamefully say I’ve never looked down on myself more than I have in the past few months. Things have been dififcult and I’m getting the much needed help and medication I suppose I should’ve searched for. So, now let’s get to the point. Apologies are completely meaningless if you don’t act on it. I’m sorry I disappeared and became consumed with my stupid deicisons. I didn’t think I deserved friends like the ones I had. I stopped going by Noah, and quit cosplay because it made me insecure. I’m realizing how important it is to do what you love to one day not be as insecure. Most importantly, the significance of letting people in. I want to fix things. I’m going to do everything I can and start being the friend you all deserved. Tried to keep it short, I’ll save the rest for personal conversations. No more pushing people away.
im in the mood to receive a check for six hundred thousand dollars
Hello Ye Cutest Arm Nubs Mcnubbycutes.
EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OKAY.